A sigh of relief...

Typically after a long relationship ends, there are a series of relationships that follow where they either just don't go anywhere or you use them to work out your inner problems. There is nothing bad about that because they all give you a chance to explore who you really are and what you really want out of a relationship. They also give you a chance to learn a few things for when the "right" person comes along.

When my ex and I broke up almost a year ago last year, I have to admit that I felt fairly numb inside. To add to that, I felt like I didn't know what I wanted, what I needed and asked if I should just give up in general. I continued on my plan to move back to Denver, to get back to something that was familiar. Was I ready to come home, no. I was, in a way, forced to because I had already quit my job and was not fully able to afford going to grad school in NYC.

So I got back here, dated a couple of people - or rather went on a couple of dates with a couple of people. Then, I met Chris.

Chris is a great guy with a lot of potential. He just doesn't know it yet. Things started slow, which was annoying at first, but looking back it was the best thing that could have happened. We would see each other two or three times a week. But there were small things that started to pop up that would make me question just how into the whole relationship he was. I never met any of his good friends. He flat out refused to meet most of my good friends. We always had to do things on his schedule and on his time. My suggestions were often ignored or brushed aside. Small things here and there. This made it difficult for me to give me all.

Well, it ended up not last because I grew to realize I needed something more significant, more long-term. He was not up to that - at all. So we mutually parted ways.

I was upset, like anyone should be after a relationship ends. But I quickly realized that I learned something that I thought was impossible after the year I've had. I learned that I do, in fact, want a long term, deep relationship where I can pour my entire being into something and someone. I also realized that there is nothing wrong with me and who I am. I have my quirks, like we all do. But there is nothing wrong with being a little OCD when it comes to certain things.

In the end, I learned a few things about myself, which I only have one person to thank.