A sigh of relief...

Typically after a long relationship ends, there are a series of relationships that follow where they either just don't go anywhere or you use them to work out your inner problems. There is nothing bad about that because they all give you a chance to explore who you really are and what you really want out of a relationship. They also give you a chance to learn a few things for when the "right" person comes along.

When my ex and I broke up almost a year ago last year, I have to admit that I felt fairly numb inside. To add to that, I felt like I didn't know what I wanted, what I needed and asked if I should just give up in general. I continued on my plan to move back to Denver, to get back to something that was familiar. Was I ready to come home, no. I was, in a way, forced to because I had already quit my job and was not fully able to afford going to grad school in NYC.

So I got back here, dated a couple of people - or rather went on a couple of dates with a couple of people. Then, I met Chris.

Chris is a great guy with a lot of potential. He just doesn't know it yet. Things started slow, which was annoying at first, but looking back it was the best thing that could have happened. We would see each other two or three times a week. But there were small things that started to pop up that would make me question just how into the whole relationship he was. I never met any of his good friends. He flat out refused to meet most of my good friends. We always had to do things on his schedule and on his time. My suggestions were often ignored or brushed aside. Small things here and there. This made it difficult for me to give me all.

Well, it ended up not last because I grew to realize I needed something more significant, more long-term. He was not up to that - at all. So we mutually parted ways.

I was upset, like anyone should be after a relationship ends. But I quickly realized that I learned something that I thought was impossible after the year I've had. I learned that I do, in fact, want a long term, deep relationship where I can pour my entire being into something and someone. I also realized that there is nothing wrong with me and who I am. I have my quirks, like we all do. But there is nothing wrong with being a little OCD when it comes to certain things.

In the end, I learned a few things about myself, which I only have one person to thank.

Sometimes...

Sometimes the hardest decisions really do turn out to be the best decisions.

Case in point - I was supposed to move to NYC for school in September. I ended up not moving. There have been times I thought I should have just done it and made my way in the world - which would have been starting from scratch seeing as my friend connection in NYC had dwindled by a few people. Instead, I am making a name for myself here in Denver, a fantastic city that I have to say is much more welcoming and much warmer than the concrete jungle. Really... if I wanted to live in a place where the nickname has the word jungle in it, I might as well move to Africa or South America.

I digress...

I have never felt more at peace than I do here. I have a city I can play in and a countryside (mountains included) where I can get lost in my thoughts. And, on top of all of that, I actually have money to enjoy life instead of working to pay the rent.

So, thank you to those couple of factors who pushed me back to the Mile High City. I am still learning and growing, but it feels so much better to grow without all the unnecessary crap that would have come with living in a place that cares more about image than about personality and humanity.

A Look Back at the Last Month

One month ago, I took one of the biggest risks in my life. I left a job in Rochester, NY, to head home to Denver. I didn't have a job, I didn't have much in my savings and I wasn't sure if Denver was even the right place to be going.

There were a lot of things happening to me internally that prompted the move. Above all, I missed my family. Working with people who had their families to go home to made me want that same thing. I missed being able to stop by for a home-cooked meal. I missed seeing the people I wanted to see whenever I wanted. True, my family was only a phone call away, but after four years, that just wasn't enough.

So I decided to hop in the car and drive my life back to Denver. All I can say is that things are working out. I am now working full time at KUSA/9News in Denver (that's the NBC station in town for those of you who don't know). I was first hired as an editor. Before even going through orientation, I have already been moved to the assignment desk. It is a full-time job with awesome benefits. I can honestly say that I am completely excited. I can use my editorial judgement in my work. I will be starting up classes in the fall at the University of Colorado at Denver. Moving back has also introduced me and reintroduced me to some great people, some which will become a much bigger part of my daily life.

Overall, I can say this was a great move mentally and professionally. This doesn't discount the move to Rochester. I learned more than I ever could have imagined about myself and the business. I also made some incredible friends who will forever be in my heart and soul. All I can say is listen to your heart and soul. Things happen for a reason. You just have to be open to change and ready to take a leap of faith.