Hesitation...

I have to admit, there was some hesitation on going back to Bismarck this past weekend. I wasn't so much worried about the people I was going to see, but worried about the emotions I was going to feel.

The people I saw are people I have been missing over the past year. They are people who I can lean on in a time of need and who are always around to hear my thoughts (even if we will never see eye to eye on some of them). They are the friends I made over the past three years in Bismarck and they are the ones who have stuck by me. They welcomed me with open arms. As my friend said, it was just like time was put on hold. Things just fell right into place and picked up where they left off.

The big revelation came to me in the shower (where I do most of my thinking) about this very topic. I realized I made plenty of memories in that city. Some of those memories involved people no longer a part of my life in one capacity or another. Those memories are worth remembering, but they aren't the only memories. There are plenty of other memories that outnumber the ones creating the hesitation. What I had to do is face those memories conjured up by certain locations - such as eating at the place of a first date or driving past the ex's house - and continue creating new memories.

Let me end by saying it was a great weekend. There are people I didn't get a chance to see and others I wanted to spend even more time with. I know, after this visit, I will be back many times over, creating new memories for years to come. As for those old memories, I will remember all of them, learning from them and growing.